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Are you going to buy one of those cars with an exploding air bags one of those SUVs that tip over or one of those new cars with faulty wiring that catches fire or one that’s got a gas tank that will burst into flames upon impact or the one that’s got those defective tires that will separate when you least expect them to thus endangering you and your entire family or the one with the loose ignition key that can cause the vehicle to come to an instant stop in cross town traffic or the one with the gas pedal that sticks at high-speed or maybe you like the one with the unsafe seat belts or maybe you’ll buy the one that gets eleven miles per gallon less than the advertised stated gas mileage  Maybe you’ll select  one of those new  cars where your knees are up into your chest when you sit in the back seat or the one designed for really small people you know the one The one where your head hits the headliner over a bumpy road in part cause the shock absorbers are shock absorbers in name only or how about the one that has that blind spot at the corners of the windshield the windshield that has those wipers that make that horrible noise when you turn them on the ones that don’t really wipe away the rain they just streak Maybe you’ll like the new car that has that steering wheel that noticeably vibrates in your hands as you steer Me I think I’m going for that new car that features that rear view mirror that falls off the windshield the one the electric window won’t roll down you know the one where the thermostat sticks after only a thousand miles and the engine overheats yeah the one that has that mileage gauge with that needle that starts to jiggle back and forth when you go over 35 the one that has that pancake they call a spare tire in the trunk that can store two cans of soup effortlessly The one that has that shiny stainless steel electric antennae that won’t move up or down any longer Hey See ya at the repair shop Think I’ll buy me a new car before the muffler falls off or before the water pump begins to leak


One Comment

  1. I think I’ll just commit suicide.


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