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A state of emergency has been declared for parts of northern and east south-west Indiana A startling shortage of hoopla has been uncovered by state auditors  during an ongoing investigation of three missing fire trucks and a repeated forty-three year old blood donor from Indianapolis once infected with Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever Records show that the suspect’s great-grandfather was run over by a med-alert team out of fire house seven located in Dead Weed Indiana some thirty-three years ago Records also obtained by court order reveal that police were called to the scene of a disturbance in nearby Holdup Indiana when the suspect was refused the credit card purchase of a fire hose in a Costco suburban  store now closed due to a mysterious fire that leveled the store some six months later FEMA is responding rapidly by shipping in three semi-trailer loads of gummy bears to the effected areas The state governor is asking all residents to remain cool and to donate unopened bags of marshmallows to low income families wherever possible except for those communities where flood waters have reached roof-top levels In the meantime all tennis matches have been postponed until further notice


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