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Category Archives: basements

Who the hell are you anyway We assume you are operating under an alliance In any event this is a warning Stay the hell away from my home We don’t need or want your braggadociousnes  and all that ho ho ho crap waking up our kids once a year so late at  night One more thing Keep those damn reindeer and all of their droppings the hell off my roof and you can stop climbing down our chimney as well While I’m at it We don’t need nor want the yearly aggravation of having to clean up all that damn dirt dust grim and loose mortar and brick from the fireplace floor anymore and you can forget free loading all those damn cookies as well from now on   Have a nice day


Did you ever get high while visiting Mumbai  Ever meet a gal on Guadalcanal Did you perhaps go see a young lady name of Irma somewhere in far off Burma and did you ever play Monopoly during your layover in Tripoli or stub you toe in Borneo Have  you ever tried to hike through the Klondike or tried purchasing a fur stole in Sevastopol or you might have lost a sock in Vladivostok Did you ever blow your nose in the Poconos or push a cart around Stuttgart I hope you didn’t get stuck by a thorn way out of Melbourne You could have tried hiring a maid while staying in Belgrade And I can’t help wondering if you ever asked why in Paraguay Maybe I’ll see you over in Peru and we can have a brew or two just me and you





That’s my new telephone  A new what A telephone a telephone So what’s it do It’s a piece of magic Every time you get into your bath tub or go down into the basement it rings